1. |
The Swell of Summer
02:13
|
|||
In the swell of the summer we’ll set our hearts free / as the sea opens up and is swallowing me / when the moon on the ridge extends over the trees / we can fall there together, how happy we’ll be
|
||||
2. |
A Birthday
04:10
|
|||
Hello my name is I was born without a body / just a head with brains for poetry / and my arms all gnarled and knotty / but my father, oh, he loved me / though I took his lover from him / on the day that I had lost it, she was taken from this existence
And the doctor took my head and he attached it to a ribcage / made of steel and bolts and wires / and he pulled at me with pliers / and the lights were bright and shining / over the table and the gurney / and I must have screamed so loud it would have shaken the whole city / and they cranked my heart for beating and put gears in my knees for walking / told me I’d never be pretty / told me I’d never feel anything
Oh mother did you love me when you sacrificed your body / or did my hideous form kill you like the kids at my school tell me
Oh mother did you love me when you sacrificed your body / or did I torment and disgust you with my legs all curled and rotten
|
||||
3. |
The Actress
02:59
|
|||
The dresses you bought me don’t fit anymore / they just sit in stray piles like leaves on the floor / so I hang them like curtains draped over the door / and I twirl on my stage / it’s an act I adore
As you cough in the kitchen I’m starting the show / I imagine the feel of real skin in my clothes / as the crowd files in from the street side below / and you turn on the news, the fifth night in a row
What will my father think of me years from now / will I make him proud / I’ll make you proud / I’ll make you proud
The light from the T.V. it mirrors my shame / as news stories of scandal and war flood my brain / my performance is sound tracked by shouting and flames / and the newsman announces my final charade
The actress retreats for one final bow / and the audience rises and cheers all around / as the mean on the screen screams to tear this wall down / I’m enjoying the fiction I matter somehow
How will I make my father proud years from now / will I make him proud / I’ll make you proud / I’ll make you proud
|
||||
4. |
Dusty Living Room
02:41
|
|||
I want to cover myself in the sheets of the bed / the same sheets that my father brought me home from the hospital in / I can feel the oil of his hands in the cloth when I breathe / but in the end the smell turns to ammonia and incense / I picture his face in the coffin / I’m down on my knees
If there’s a god don’t take him please
I’m chipping off rust from the cogs in my hands / while a clash record plays in the living room / the angry brits shout their demands / the necklace you made me on the jewelry case reflects the sunrise of the window’s light / and I hate myself and I hate my body and I hate and hate with all of my might
If there’s a god make me alright
The dust in the air and the morning sun / hangs in front of me like an omen come / to destroy my willpower with the force of a gun / my demons relax cause they have already won
|
||||
5. |
Leaving
02:43
|
|||
Maybe I’ll run away tonight / drive till I reach the morning light / leave the sorrow and death behind / maybe I’ll go to New York tonight
How do you run from yourself?
Maybe I’ll run away tonight / make myself a new name tonight
|
||||
6. |
Sarah
04:21
|
|||
When I met you, you looked at me like no one had ever looked at me before / as in you looked at me right at my face seated cross legged on the floor / you stepped right over my clockwork legs and outstretched a gentle hand / and I stood up with some effort and made small talk with you and / I loved you then
We struck up conversation about dreams and love and loss / we were both aspiring actresses with bad luck at making off / we talked about auditions and the awful human race / and you slipped me your address as I stared blankly at your face / I loved you then
The first night that you kissed me on the rooftop back in May / I felt the touch of your lips linger on my fingertips for days and days / and the whole we kissed in August and October and in March / you started getting noticed up on billboards and in bars and bars and bars / I loved you then
As we stumble through an after-party past the Broadway line / and you greet costars and directors with your normal hand in mine / I am slowly become hidden like a leap year lost in time / with the body of a childhood toy, forgotten / tossed aside
I loved you then
|
||||
7. |
Acid Neck
05:35
|
|||
When I get sad I watch your face / the way it moves its endless shapes / the way you laugh and your body shakes / and you clutch your chest and you touch my face
When I get sad I feel your hands / the subtle skin, the way they land / I rub them up against my cheek / I feel them moving as I speak
You clutch my arms, I pull away / I don’t feel beautiful today / you inch away with somber eyes / your sadness forms from my surprise
I feel like an outcast in my own skin / I don’t have your skin / I don’t have my skin
We spend the whole day counting clocks / waiting in line and making talk / I’m never getting what I want / you’re always getting what you want
You tell me that it’s not my fault / they see the nails and not my heart / I’m tired of this, my temper’s on / I turn and tell you to fuck off
I feel like I’m borrowing my heart / I don’t have your heart / I don’t have my heart
I don’t want to hurt you / when you only want to help / I spit my acid on the neck / of every lover in this hell
credits
|
||||
8. |
An Omen
07:20
|
|||
Listen / you’re not talking again / I’m touching your hand / it’s cold
Listen / you keep breathing in / so violent and tense / controlled
I told you / I was leaving again / I meant it this time / I lied
I left / the car running again / the doors are all locked / I tried
We’re moving in popular time / we linger two half steps in line / the walls of the room are too wide / our bodies get trapped while inside
Do you feel it / when you’re lying in bed / the crick in your neck / it’s red
Does it hurt you / are you crying again? / does it sit in your lungs? / like lead
The dogs always bark in the night / an omen ignored every time / in the flash of the beaming headlights / the sound of a preventable crime / your crime
The plans that we made as young kids / were renewed, then destroyed and relived / does it make sense to tell you like this / do you want me to tell you like this?
I thought I heard you on the coast last night / it was only a dream
|
||||
9. |
Moths
04:15
|
|||
The shoreline crashed like a fighter jet on the night that you left town / and the moths in my room danced around on the ceiling in pirouettes up and down / the neighbors next door had a bonfire in the depressing summer heat / and I sat on my bed and thought about what you said as you pulled into the street
You said “you are not a part of me” / “I am not a part of you”
I thought about visiting friends in the city and the nights we spent upstate / I thought about watching some T.V. but I guess I thought it was too late / through the window I heard the refrain of a soft Parisian love duet / with my broken French and my cold regret I could make out what it said
It said “you are not a part of me” / “I am not a part of you”
I walked down the road to the graveyard in the depressing summer heat / I felt like a cliché and I laughed to myself at the headstones by my feet / I sighed at the moon and felt new in its light for a moment, then it moved / there were no stars in sight and in the dark of the night I hummed a little tune
It went “you are not a part of me” / “I am not a part of you”
|
||||
10. |
In Transit
02:31
|
|||
The highway’s dark and quiet / New York is fading in the distance / I hear your name in every silent second / I see your face in every streetlamp
I was not built to be your lover / my heart of iron runs too thick / this is the way the doctor’s made me / they made me broken made me sick
My eyes are bloodshot from the driving / the only kind of pain I feel / I sense your presence in their pulsing / I feel your skin as I grip the wheel
When morning comes I’ll be in Boston / I’ll pull my car up on the beach / I’ll trace your name into the shoreline / I’ll watch it wash into the sea
|
||||
11. |
By the Sea
09:29
|
|||
It’s a Sunday morning / the ocean is calm / I am wandering out / with outstretched palms / a decade alone / though it feels like a week / I keep seeing your face in those of strangers I meet
What would my father think of me now / would he be proud? / would he be proud?
I tried my best to command my life
The water is cold or I imagine it might be / I watch as the sand wicks the rust off my feet / the regret seeps in at noon right on time / and I laugh to myself that I’m doing just fine / and I’m watching the boats / as they weave through the docks / and I pretend that one day they might carry me off / back to New York to find you / but what would it matter / you’d have nothing of me / you’d scoff and rain me with laughter
What would you think of me know / would you be proud? / would you be proud? / I say out loud
A hand on my wrist / a voice asks my name / I turn round to see a face defined in its shame / and you look back at me and say / I’ve been searching, oh, I’ve been searching
You hold me close / I whisper I’m sorry / you say that’s alright / we all make mistakes
I want to cry for a year / I want to cry for a thousand years
In the swell of the summer we’ll set our hearts free / as the sea opens up and is swallowing me / when the moon on the ridge extends over the trees / we can fall there together / how happy we’ll be
As the summer months die and the sun starts to set / I will lay in your arms with your hands on my head / and until the waves turn my body to rust / I will sit here beside you and know I am loved
|
Honest Face Records Worcester, Massachusetts
We are an independently run label based out of central Massachusetts.
Streaming and Download help
If you like Hello My Name Is I Was Born Without A Body, you may also like:
Bandcamp Daily your guide to the world of Bandcamp