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Chapter Four – Dusty Living Room
Moving forward in time, The Actress is 20 years old. Her father has passed away and has left their home unoccupied for several weeks. After the funeral, The Actress goes into the living room to sort through her father’s belongings. A thick layer of dust coats every surface. She feels a sudden, overwhelming weight in her heart as she surveys the wreckage of the life they had together. He was her only confidant; her closest friend. Staring at her father’s rosary necklace, she questions the existence of a higher power, and wonders if there’s really any point in continuing forward.

lyrics

I want to cover myself in the sheets of the bed / the same sheets that my father brought me home from the hospital in / I can feel the oil of his hands in the cloth when I breathe / but in the end the smell turns to ammonia and incense / I picture his face in the coffin / I’m down on my knees
If there’s a god don’t take him please
I’m chipping off rust from the cogs in my hands / while a clash record plays in the living room / the angry brits shout their demands / the necklace you made me on the jewelry case reflects the sunrise of the window’s light / and I hate myself and I hate my body and I hate and hate with all of my might
If there’s a god make me alright
The dust in the air and the morning sun / hangs in front of me like an omen come / to destroy my willpower with the force of a gun / my demons relax cause they have already won

credits

from Hello My Name Is I Was Born Without A Body, released August 19, 2016

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