The day our mother passed away
The kettle on the stove wouldn’t stop boiling and the steam floated over East St. through the snow
My brother pulled a blanket on her face
He didn’t want her to have to see the unfixed lightbulbs hanging forgotten in the ceiling that wouldn’t glow
The day our mother passed away
I tried to call my father but as expected his phone number had changed again, so what?
He never cared about us anyway, he left us here alone in this apartment wading through dead bugs and the memories of what he’d done.
The day our mother passed away
I ran into the snowy street in front of the tenement and screamed into the cold December night
I banged on the brick wall with my fists and as my knuckled bled in red and plaster I buckled over and slumped into the snow and I regret
Where we always too hard on ourselves?
Did I say enough of the good things in the bad times?
Was the problem really him or was it me?
When she faded out what flashed before her eyes?
Was it the fighting or the picture frame we broke?
Was it the hunger or the kettle on the stove?
Was it my brother standing dead-eyed in the snow?
Did my bitterness ruin the time we had left to know?
The day our mother passed away
I built my brother a new workbench so the droning sound of the hammer’s fall would help me to forget
Each night I stare out at the street and wonder if I’d given this a chance how would I have spent all the time I wasted differently
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